Emotional Intelligence

How can I understand emotions without assuming I know what someone feels?

Emotional understanding involves noticing our feelings, being curious about another person's experience and considering how we respond. We can listen and ask rather than assume we know what someone feels. Reflection can reveal patterns, misunderstandings or a response we want to change. Maturity is expressed in how we use that understanding, including through honest communication and repair. It cannot be judged simply by how calm or expressive someone appears. Different people may communicate their experience in different ways.

Listening also means allowing a feeling to be expressed before deciding what it reveals. We can check our understanding with the person rather than turning observation into a verdict about their inner life.

A question to sit with (optional): What do I notice in myself, and what would I need to ask before interpreting another person’s feelings?